Since I have been single I have joined different websites to find "the one." I never liked match.com, I thought it was more of a hook up site, so I thought I would give e-harmony a try.
The process of e-harm (that is a funny abbreviation) goes a little something like this: Girl fills out a really long survey, answering questions rating how moral, creative, and shy she is, how friends would describe her, what she is looking for in a partner, and other 'personality' questions to help find the perfect match. Boy fills out same lengthy questionnaire. A profile is created using some of those answers and then matches are created using an algorithm that is highly classified. When a match is created both male and female gets to see one another's profile and can then choose to start communication. There are 4 parts. Step one, cut a hole in the box (oh sorry I always think of that SNL skit and laugh when I hear step 1. ) Seriously step 1 involves sending and answering multiple choice questions, step 2 is sending and receiving a list of pre-selected must haves and can't stand items for a partner, step 3 is the long answer essay type if you will, portion of the test, and the fourth step is open communication where messages can be exchanged through the site without having to give out an email address.
So I first joined e-harm about 3 years ago. I was active on the site for 3-4 months, went on several dates and became jaded at the process because it took so long to actually have a conversation and then by the time you met you felt like you knew the person and then the actual date turned out to be a let down (for both parties at times.) I deactivated my account and reactivated it a year and a half later except this time I dragged the process out by not responding promptly and it took months (literally) to get past all of the 4 steps. (read really didn't want to meet anyone but felt I needed to convince myself that I was trying) So I deactivated again and now fast-forward to present time, I am throwing my old mentality and BS out the window and starting with a clean slate.
The one part that I haven't mentioned is that if you are not interested in a match or vice versa at any point during the 4 steps of communication one can choose to 'close' the match. Closing the match is like deleting someone's phone number from your cell phone. There is no longer any way to communicate with this person ever again. The one odd thing about e-harmony that I have come to find a little harmful is that it keeps a history of the whole time you have been with them. Meaning, since I have essentially been on e-harmony for over three years, I can search through all of my closed matches. And how many closed matches would you think I have? 100? 250? No, not even close. I have 1,165 closed matches. Now mind you, this doesn't mean I have gone on a date or even communicated with this many men because in e-harm one can close a match as soon as it is received without any communication if they aren't interested (or one of many other reasons). But I did get a little sad when I saw that number and thought I need to pay more attention to all of those fish out there (in cyber world and especially in real world too).
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